Confessions of a messes up chic? AM I?

i don really know actually. This week was tiring some how. Went to the 2009 fab facebook 500 people event which wasnt as hilarious as i thought it'd be. It was okay though i had fun. Maybe because gary and friends were our entertainment for the night or maybe it was because of "drama" tht happened that night. It was beer throughout the whole dame night. Heineken rather.. It was held at bamboo9, ttdi. Ive been foosing lately so i had 2 games with keegan in the concourse of ttdi which was pretty akward as many people were looking. I still suck after 1 month but still i improved much compared to a month ago. OH wells. Today i was practitcing snake  with esther (; Our wrists had shades of red and blue. It was hella a pain. 

Its been almost a month and more, uve been gone. I miss you but i dont think its much of a big deal now as i have told myself that i want to move on. It wasnt that hard anymore as i thought u were just a total waste of time. I was pretty fed up lilstening to all your bulshyt. Till this very minute you' re still telling me you miss me. I wonder why. Some how, im trying to give this other person a chance. And i really hope things work out this time. Though he may not be what i expected him to be i still think it will work out. I need to skip out of comfort zone and try some other new things. Rather than sticking to the same old blue cow...yea? 

Still im having some small problems of my own. Im so afraid . afraid of commitment which i never use to afraid of. Im just so scared of those immatures. Accepting some one new isnt tht hard but being able to trust them its a different story. You were able to grab my heart but were you able to hold on to it? Its different too. This world seems to be filled with a whole bunch of those "typical males" I really hate them. Just stand up be a man, speak the truth and shame the ddevil. Its not like it'd kill you. 

His trying hard and im trying to try too. Im happy really happy things have been fine so on. Maybe some would say it is so fast but i think we progressed really fast. Maybe the chances we have seem to be more compared to my past one's. Maybe.. At the same point, im afraid i'd be the one who changes. I dont want you to just leave me like tht. I don wan to love you and get dump after that. I do appreciate your effort much. Its really heart warming kknowing you try so hard. Im really starting to fall for you. I hope we'd work out on it..

You do deserve a chance, boy